India will sign on CTBT finally...

In a major incident sports minister Mr. P.K.Girpade announced that India is seriously thinking of signing on Cricket and Tennis Boycott Treaty (CTBT) in a very short period. Addressing a press conference he said,»Due to our backwardness in these sports, we are thinking about the boycott of these games.«

Among the other nations present were Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. The decision was supported dy all the delegates of other countries, who were equally keen to sign on the treaty.

Vajpayee asks Advani to resign...

PM Mr. Atal Bihari Vajpayee has asked union Home Minster Mr. L.K.Advani to immediately resign from his membership of Bhatinda Municipal Corporation(BMC). In a meeting that went for about half an hour at PM's house the important decision was taken to safeguard the interest of the country.

Mr. Advani said that the decision was justifed in the sense that he has been facing a lot of pressure and is not getting any free time from his busy schedule. He handed over his resignation to the president of BMC immediately after the meeting.

Sachin quits playing...

Master Blaster Sachin Tendulkar today announced that he will no longer play the cards.»It's very tough for me to maintain the daily routine of practising cricket and playing cards, so, it will be better if I concentrate on either one of them«, he said.

There was a happy reaction among public on this decision. The fans were happy that now they would be able to see the 'Little Master' in his full form. They said that it has been a long time since they saw him playing with full zeal and confidence in the field, but, now their wait seems to be over.


Pakistan will give Kashmir back to India : Musharraf...

Pakistan's Military ruler Gen. Parvez Musharraf has said that they are willing to give Kashmir alongwith some parts of Pakistan, back to India in future. »We have set our target till year 2200 when we will take a final decision about giving the state back to India.« Reacting to this PM Mr. Vajpayee said »Musharraf Ji, tab tak to hum poora Pakistan hi le lenge.(we would have taken the whole Pakistan till that time.)«

Laloo acquired degree in M.A (English)...

RJD President Mr. Laloo Prasad Yadav acquired Fifth Class Degree after 45 years of hardwork in M.A(English) by Patna University here yesterday. Addressing a press conference he said,»I very khush(happy) on my amendment(achievement) because this degree is very keemti(precious) for me aur it is a good hathiar(weapon) to make chup(silent) all the vipakshi(opposition) parties.«

The woman behind all this Mrs. Rabri Devi said,»Ab to hum bahut khush hain bhai. Misa ke bapoo ki is ektho degree se ab hamar bachhuan ko padhane ki chinta hi khatam ho gayee hai.(now I am very happy as this degree has made me tension free of our children's education)«

We should start thinking now : Sardar Banta Singh...

The President of Maha Akalmand and Dashing Society (MADS) Sardar Banta Singh announced that they should start thinking seriously for their new state Khalistan. Addressing the gatherings on the inaugration of Patiala Mental Hospital he said,»Hun assi sabnu bata devenge ki assi bhi kisi se kam nahi san. Assi bhi intelligent hai, yeh prove karan vaste ab saanu chheti se apna alag desh chaida hai. Aj hi assi PM te mil ke una-noo apni demand dasenge aur ik nave desh vich javenge.(we will tell all the people that we are not less than them. We need a separate country to prove that we are also intelligent. We will meet the PM today and will tell him about our demand)«

I will not shoot movies in Ooty : Mithun...

Veteran actor Mithun Chakrovarty announced today that he will not shoot any of his movies in his hotel in Ooty now onwards. Inaugrating his new hotel in JhumriTaliya he said,»I will see to it that my no movies are shot in Ooty. I will instruct all my producers to shoot no movies in Ooty rather use my new hotel in JhumriTaliya as it will be a refreshing change for my audiences and will help in the increment of my film's business.«

We are hopeful of winning next World Cup : Ganguly

Indian captain Saurav Ganguly today announced that they are confident that India will win the next football world cup if they are given a chance to play in it, he was talking to the reporters after watching a local football match. he said,»I think that our youngsters can lift the cup if they are given a chance, without qualifying, to play the world cup. They have the killer instinct in them, infact there were three serious fights in the ground.«